[ jude will take a moment before he says anything and allows to finish his piano piece. ]
What are some of the things that you want that you feel like don't make sense? [ ... ] Was killing Ruin one of those things that made sense to you but don't anymore?
Mm. In a way, I suppose. Believe it or not, I've never seen myself as the killing type. This competition forced me to up my game.
[Or gave him the opportunity for it, however you want to take it.]
Ruin was always a strategic play, but then, I keep telling people that, and no one ever asks why. It was to get her out of the way so I could change teams without her hounding me later, but that doesn't make sense if you think about it for, what, two seconds? She'd have been pissed off, but she'd be wasting valuable time chasing me when she should be attracting other followers.
[He drums his fingers on the edge of the piano.]
There's a logical line I can follow, but... It frays if you look too closely.
[ there definitely is but jude will want to chase after something. ]
Couldn't it be because you didn't want her to win? I mean... [ he starts off slowly ] I had a talk with Ambition about Fortune's death and she was surprised about how we were all upset about it.
[ he's gonna get vaped anyway so jude doesn't mind over-sharing a little. besides, this is what he gets for trying to understand a murderer. ]
Less gods means that you raise the probability of the god you want to win to win. In a game like this where numbers matter in the end, it makes sense. It isn't the method that most people would default to, but if you have what it takes to want to win—you'll do anything.
Sure, that's one way to look at it. Fortune's death makes enough sense in that regard.
[...]
The brutality of it was unnecessary, but I suppose we don't know all the facts.
[But, still. It bothers him. Maybe that's hypocritical, but so be it.]
With Ruin, though, she had no chance of winning. That was clear from the start with the way you all formed such negative opinions about her based on just her name. Disorder fell into the same hole. If I would've just defected and gone on my way, I doubt anyone would've chosen her in my stead. Hell, someone else would've likely taken her out for me.
When you put it that way, yeah, I can see what you mean.
[ see? it's stuff like this that confuses jude. ]
I mean, it seems reasonable logic and might have been what would have happened in the end. None of us cared for Ruin collectively, but if you wanted to be sure that she wouldn't have won...
[ jude can come up with this kind of thinking as well, but what newt's saying makes plenty of sense and isn't as cruel. however— ]
But Ruin wasn't your only target, right? There was someone else?
I wanted to be sure that she wouldn't be around to interfere with my future plans in this competition. It had nothing to do with her winning or not winning; you all sealed her fate from the word "go" in that regard.
[Hence why he wanted to bail on her team in the first place.]
Ruin was my only target, but I had to kill others to get to her. Hector was collateral damage, Ai was a favor. Ai for an Ai, hah.
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no subject
Something wrong?
[ a deep concern. ]
What do you mean? Like a feeling or is it something else?
no subject
[He takes a moment to finish out the song.]
The things I want don't make sense. I do things knowing I should, thinking it's the right move, but then, I don't know.
no subject
What are some of the things that you want that you feel like don't make sense? [ ... ] Was killing Ruin one of those things that made sense to you but don't anymore?
[ he's testing the waters with this. ]
no subject
[Or gave him the opportunity for it, however you want to take it.]
Ruin was always a strategic play, but then, I keep telling people that, and no one ever asks why. It was to get her out of the way so I could change teams without her hounding me later, but that doesn't make sense if you think about it for, what, two seconds? She'd have been pissed off, but she'd be wasting valuable time chasing me when she should be attracting other followers.
[He drums his fingers on the edge of the piano.]
There's a logical line I can follow, but... It frays if you look too closely.
no subject
Couldn't it be because you didn't want her to win? I mean... [ he starts off slowly ] I had a talk with Ambition about Fortune's death and she was surprised about how we were all upset about it.
[ he's gonna get vaped anyway so jude doesn't mind over-sharing a little. besides, this is what he gets for trying to understand a murderer. ]
Less gods means that you raise the probability of the god you want to win to win. In a game like this where numbers matter in the end, it makes sense. It isn't the method that most people would default to, but if you have what it takes to want to win—you'll do anything.
no subject
[...]
The brutality of it was unnecessary, but I suppose we don't know all the facts.
[But, still. It bothers him. Maybe that's hypocritical, but so be it.]
With Ruin, though, she had no chance of winning. That was clear from the start with the way you all formed such negative opinions about her based on just her name. Disorder fell into the same hole. If I would've just defected and gone on my way, I doubt anyone would've chosen her in my stead. Hell, someone else would've likely taken her out for me.
no subject
[ see? it's stuff like this that confuses jude. ]
I mean, it seems reasonable logic and might have been what would have happened in the end. None of us cared for Ruin collectively, but if you wanted to be sure that she wouldn't have won...
[ jude can come up with this kind of thinking as well, but what newt's saying makes plenty of sense and isn't as cruel. however— ]
But Ruin wasn't your only target, right? There was someone else?
no subject
[Hence why he wanted to bail on her team in the first place.]
Ruin was my only target, but I had to kill others to get to her. Hector was collateral damage, Ai was a favor. Ai for an Ai, hah.
[don't laugh at that it's a bad joke.]